


So We Can Be Safe!

by samakiwi



Series: Absolute Balance [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Babies, Fluff, Fun, M/M, baby proofing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1951344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samakiwi/pseuds/samakiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, Ian buys a bunch of baby-proofing stuff and everyone else thinks it's unnecessary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So We Can Be Safe!

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my friends Alex & Maeby for helping with this and giving me ideas for parts of it! :)

The banging had been going on all day, starting around nine in the morning until now, which was three in the afternoon. Mickey wished it was the good kind of banging, but unfortunately it was just Ian clattering around the house. It wasn’t particularly loud or annoying, but Mickey was bored out of his mind.

Ian had decided to baby proof the Gallagher home. Not like it had ever seemed to need baby proofing when Liam was younger, but Ian insisted that if Yev was going to be spending time at their home it was going to be safe. Everyone in that house was overprotective since the whole Liam-and-coke situation happened, and Mickey didn’t blame them, but it shouldn’t take that long to make the house semi-safe.

“Hey, asshole, you about done? The little guy isn’t even here and you’ve been working all fucking day.” Mickey half-yelled from the couch to Ian who was making some latch in the kitchen completely secure.

“Yeah, I think this is the last one. It’s not my fault you suck at putting these things on the cupboards! We could have been done at noon if you knew how to do it. You’re impossible to teach!” Ian yelled back, opening and closing the door he had just secured as he did so.

“Why the fuck did you think I quit school? I only learn what’s necessary and I don’t actually believe this is necessary. Who in South Side Chicago has ever had baby gates in their house? No one, that’s who.” Mickey sassed back as Ian joined him on the couch.

“Well you’re useless when it comes to children, basically,” Ian teased, bumping their shoulders together.

“Thanks. I’m pretty sure we all figured that one out already, smartass,” Mickey smirked back at Ian.

“I tried to teach you! I can’t believe you couldn’t even figure out the gates, those are so easy a cave man could do it.”

“Obviously I’m much less advanced than a cave man, so fuck off.”

“Ouch, Mick. Don’t be too sour about it. I just want your son to be safe!”

“Fine. I’ll pretend I understand you for right now. Can we have some fun now?” Mickey smiled, standing up and pulling Ian to his feet, too.

Ian didn’t have to answer, and Mickey just pulled Ian up the stairs pausing for only a moment while Ian pulled the gate away from the bottom step.

****  
  


\---------------------

Svetlana walked into the Gallagher home one day to find the baby gates fully intact and no one in the living room. Mickey and Ian knew she was dropping Yev off before work (she had gotten an actual job as a waitress recently), but they weren’t anywhere in sight. She shrugged to herself and set Yev on the inside of the gate and threw the diaper bag onto the only chair she could get it to.

“Mickey! Carrot Boy! Yevgeny is in front room!” She yelled through the house.

Mickey and Ian were making out in Ian’s room and had totally lost track of time.

“Shit,” Ian whispered. It seemed to echo through the silent house.

“Fuck,” Mickey said at almost the same time. Both of them made their way downstairs immediately, pretending that hadn’t totally forgotten about Yev coming over today.

“Hey,” Mickey greeted Svetlana when he made it downstairs and successfully avoided faceplanting over the baby gate.

“What is this?” Svetlana asked, gesturing at the baby gate.

“Ask Ian about that one,” Mickey answered, picking up Yev and settling on the couch with him. Svetlana just gave a questioning look to Ian.

“It’s a baby gate?” Ian said, pointing out the obvious to a still confused Svetlana.

“Obviously. Why?” Svetlana clarified herself.

“So your kid is safe?”

“Okay, then.” Svetlana shrugged. “Back at nine tomorrow to pick up Yevgeny,” she added on her way out the door.

“See ya,” Mickey said halfheartedly.

“Did ya hear that, bud? You get to have a sleepover with daddies!” Ian said, tickling Yev’s tummy while Mickey held him. Yev smiled widely, and made some giggling noises that only a 1 ½ year-old child could make. The look on Yev’s face made it impossible for both Mickey and Ian to hold back smiles.

“Did you just say ‘daddies’, Gallagher? For real?” Mickey asked, smile not fading at all.

“Yeah, so? We basically are,” Ian replied.

“You can be daddy, I’d prefer ‘dad’,” Mickey added nonchalantly, but the words had Ian smiling even more idiotically.

“I’m okay with that.”

****  
  
  


\-----------------

The first time Fiona saw the baby gates, she’d thought it was something Debs started and she worried that either Debbie was pregnant or Carl had gotten someone pregnant. It got even more confusing when she found the baby-safe latches on the cupboards in the kitchen. She wasn’t even going to ask anyone, but then she went to get a dvd and found even that secured in place. So when Ian was the first one to come downstairs the next morning, she decided to see if he knew what was up.

“Good morning, sunshine!” she smiled at Ian as he bounded down the stairs. “How was your night? Did ya sleep well?”

“Yeah, it was good. You?” Ian replied.

“Good. Actually, it was sort of confusing. What’s up with the baby proofing? Liam’s too old to need that now, and it was even in the dvd cabinet,” she asked.

“Oh yeah, about that, actually. Yev is going to be spending more time around here from now on. Lana’s got a job now, a real job, and is letting me and Mick take care of the little guy,” Ian explained.

“Hmm, and you needed all this because? Liam never needed it,” Fiona inquired.

“He sort of did need it, Fi. We just couldn’t afford it. But with the money I’m pulling in from the club and what Mickey’s getting from working for Kev, we have enough to be prepared,” Ian said, not meaning to be sassy even though it kind of was.

“I thought you forgave me for what happened with Liam. I’ve been clean for a long time now and I admit my mistake,” Fiona sounded pained as she said it.

“Fiona,” Ian started, a regretful look on his face “I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant Liam probably would have been better off his entire first few years with stuff like this if we could have afforded it. I didn’t mean… look, I just meant it’s safer in this environment to have gates and locks on things, especially when it’s not my kid. I do forgive you. We all forgave you, Fi.”

Ian had made his way over to give Fiona a hug as he said everything, and when they parted and Ian sat down there were a few moments of silence.

“So do you think these will keep Frank out?” Fiona laughs, but Ian could hear the slight break in her voice that she always got when she was trying not to cry.

“Hopefully. If we find out it does we might start having to put money back in the cupboards as a reward for him opening it. He’s fucking stupid,” Ian laughed at his own joke, and Fiona laughed with him.

“Or we could put all the booze in the cupboards as punishment,” she added.

Both siblings made jokes about hiding things in the cupboard for Frank until they were almost quite literally laughing their asses off and the rest of the house was woken up by their hysterical laughter.

****  
  


\----------------

“What the hell is all of this?”

Debbie bounded down the stairs, stopping in her tracks when she sees the baby gate at the bottom. It definitely hadn’t been there that morning when she left, although that didn’t mean it hadn’t been in the house. She struggled with the latch a little before giving up and hop-stepping over it, only to find another one in the doorway to the kitchen.

Ian was standing in front of the stove making pancakes with some cheap definitely-not-brand-name pancake mix while Mickey struggled with changing Yev on the kitchen table. Debbie was not really shocked, just sort of disgusted. She knew Mickey was staying over a lot more recently but she didn’t especially want his spawn’s shit all over the table they eat from.

“Oh hey, Debs, good morning,” Ian said from his position, not moving to help her even though she was clearly struggling with the latch.

“Hey, Ian, what is all this?” The annoyance in her voice was clear despite her efforts to hide it. “And can one of you two idiots help me with this stupid latch?”

“Ian, you need to do it,” Mickey said, obviously still having a hard time with the diaper.

“Hold on, Deb,” Ian said flipping the last pancakes onto a plate and shutting off the stove before moving to help her get over the gate. Instead of opening the gate, he picked her up and lifted her over the gate. All Debbie could do was give Ian a death glare.

“What?” he asked. He realized what she was asking a second later and replied, “Easier than having to redo the gate.”

“Why do you even have this shit?” Debbie asked, still frustrated with the situation.

“So we can be safe!” Ian replied, successfully doing the worst “Dora the Explorer” impersonation the world has ever seen.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” She rolled her eyes, grabbed a pancake off the stack, and walked out of the house without another word.

“What’s her problem?” Mickey asked.

“She’s a fourteen-year-old girl, that’s what. I’m sure Mandy was similar at that age.”

“Mandy was a full-blown slut at that age. All she cared about was the next dude she was gonna suck off.”

“Okay, maybe Mandy had the phase a little earlier than most girls,” Ian laughed, setting the pancakes down next to Yev’s head and taking over the diaper changing. “But trust me, she was like this at some point.”

****  
  


\------------------

 

Waking up was usually a struggle for Carl, but for some reason today was different and he was up and ready for the day an hour before he was supposed to be. He ran down the stairs completely full of energy and almost had a heart attack when he flipped over something at the bottom.

“What the fuck?!” Carl half-yelled, half-laughed out when he caught his breath.

Ian and Mickey stirred from the positions they had fallen asleep in on the couch when they heard the thud, but thankfully even Carl’s exclamation hadn’t woken Yev from his nap in Ian’s lap.

“Shhhhh!” Ian and Mickey hissed in unison. Carl picked himself up and leaned over the back of the couch.

“What’s the gate for? To keep Frank out?” he asked.

“No, it’s for Yev’s safety,” Ian explained.

“Oh, okay. Do you know when Fiona’s gonna be down?” Carl asked.

“Probably not for a while, you guys don’t leave for another hour.”

“Alright, can I chill with you guys for a while?”

“Sure, why not,” Ian said while Mickey moaned and closed his eyes again, attempting to go back to sleep. “Mickey, get the fuck up, Yev is waking up anyway and you’re gonna feed him this time because I did it the last four times.”

“Fiiinneee,” Mickey mumbled, stretched, and took Yev as Carl settled down on a chair for what was going to be the most interesting hour of conversation in his life. He’d never wanted to spend quality time with Ian and Mickey before, but after that he sort of totally did.

 

\--------------------

 

“So how much did you spend on all the baby shit?”

Mandy, Mickey, and Ian all walked together towards the Gallagher home, Ian draping his arms over both his best friend and boyfriend. Mandy was so amused by the look Mickey got when she asked the question that she almost missed the answer.

“Around a hundred and fifty, I think,” Ian answered, catching Mickey’s scowl in the corner of his eye and laughing out loud. “Come on, Mick, it’s not that bad. Plus I honestly believe that baby proofing the cupboards will keep Frank out until we can get him away from things, so it’s not like it’s a waste of money. Stop looking at me like that! We used my part of the income for this anyway!”

Mickey just grunted in reply. He hated the amounts of money Ian spent on things that he deemed useless, but it was what Ian wanted so he couldn’t refuse. They had money to spare, so he couldn’t have stopped Ian from it anyway. Mandy was even more amused as Ian went on explaining what all he bought. She watched Mickey’s face the whole time, and she laughed the whole time. She loved those two dweebs way too much for her own good and sometimes wondered if she was dating Lip so she could spend more time with Ian and Mickey.

They got to the house soon enough and Mandy’s first reaction to the baby-proofed house was completely hysterical laughter.

“I can’t believe you two shitheads. You did all of this? For a kid that’s half Milkovich? Yev will be eating nails for breakfast soon and you spent all that money on this?” She said once the laughing calmed down.

“If it were up to me, we wouldn’t have. Trust me...” Mickey points out. “Gallagher here insisted on it.”

“Shut up, guys. Seriously. After having our shitty fathers I felt like we should at least try for Yev. His daddies are gonna be fucking role models, okay?”

“Fine, fine, I get it,” Mandy said, jokingly backing away from Ian. “But seriously? I think you went overboard on the cupboards. Aren’t you only supposed to put them on the bottom cupboards? Are you planning on letting Yev roam the countertops?”

“Yeah, like I said, Frank,” Ian replied.

“Point taken… Can we eat now?”

****  
  
  


\--------------------

A night of drinking and revealing secrets that neither Mickey or Ian would remember when they were sober led to being sloppily passed out on the couch, entangled with one another. Both of them reeked of alcohol but it wasn’t surprising that they did. Everyone had left the house to the two of them and they were taking the chance to relax. Taking care of a kid and working was exhausting for both of them and all either of them wanted to do was drink until they passed out, which they succeeded in.

At five in the morning, after being passed out for maybe two hours at the most, Mickey woke up hazy with an extremely strong need to pee. He grumbled and managed to get himself upright without too much trouble, but walking was a whole different story. Stumbling horribly, he made his way to the bathroom. He was so tired and hungover he didn’t even notice the baby gate, which he proceeded to fall over and faceplant onto the kitchen floor. His head hurt so badly already and his reaction time was so slow that he just groaned a little bit as he hit the floor. Nothing could hurt worse than his head already did, but the fall did add to the pain.

Mickey turned his head and sort of gave up on the bathroom after the fall, but just as he was about to pass out again he noticed Frank in the kitchen trying to pry open one of the cupboards near the stove.

“Fuck,” Frank said, his usually drunken lisp apparent.

“Whoops,” Mickey mumbled into the floor.

He passed out again soon, sprawled out on the kitchen floor and still really having to go to the bathroom.

\---------------

When Mickey woke up, the sun was peeking through the makeshift curtains above the Gallagher’s kitchen sink, a dark shadow running through the orange light of the sunrise. Mickey’s head hurt more than he thought it should, and his hangover he swore was worse than any hangover he’d ever had in his life. He could smell the booze on him and couldn’t remember why he was on the floor. All he wanted to do was take a piss and maybe throw up because he felt so damn awful.

He groaned and attempted to examine his surroundings, but his examination stopped abruptly when he noticed Frank at the cupboard next to the stove. He vaguely remembered seeing Frank there before he fell asleep on the floor, but that had to have been hours ago.

“The fuck are you doing,” Mickey grumbled, attempting to get up but miserably failing and falling back to the floor.

“Trying to get this fucking cupboard open, what the fuck does it look like?” Frank sassed back.

“What for?” Mickey asked.

“Need money. Owe people,” Frank answered, surprisingly open about what he was doing.

“Are you kidding me? All they needed was a fucking baby latch to keep you the fuck out of their money? Ian wasn’t kidding when he said it wasn’t a waste of money,” Mickey sort of laughed before the throbbing in his head made him wince in pain.

“You know what? Fuck you, I’m going to ask Sheila for it,” Frank said in reply.

“Good riddance,” Mickey said as Frank stored out of the kitchen door.

Mickey managed to get up and call Sheila in time to warn her. Luckily, Sheila already had extra baby latches to hide her cash.

**Author's Note:**

> I sort of didn't write Lip into this because I'm gonna assume he'd be off at college and would hear about it and wouldn't really care all too much.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
